Often when you start to make changes in your life or let something or someone go, life can test you. I hate using the word test, but it seems like things do come up to see if you are really about what you say.
The moment you say F**k him, he calls. The moment you say I’m going to the gym, it rains. Really it’s not a test, but it feels like one because you are forced to do something different. Will you exercise your will and stick to the new plan, or will you slip back into what’s been pretty normal for you.
The reason we backslide into the comforting drama of the past, is because it’s comfortable. It’s familiar and we know how it works. It’s hard to do something new because it forces you to think. Your brain has to start choosing new thoughts and doing new behaviors. You pretty much have to retrain your brain to do a new thing.
Whether it’s a habit or a relationship, when the past comes knocking it can be hard to handle.
I have been in the energy of letting go. Fall is the season of release and Winter is really stopping anything that doesn’t serve me. This year was a big year for me full of transitions.
As things changed, so did I and the people in my life. The more I settled into who I am and my calling of healing and supporting others, the more assertive I have been, which also means I’ve been crystal clear when it comes to boundaries.
I talk a lot about abuse and toxic relationships because my life was plagued with them. I also know how important the people in your life are because they have a huge influence on your life, whether you want them to or not.
There have been times where I’ve had relationships that were so one sided, toxic, and filled with drama. I was literally being drained by the people around me so I started letting people go. I was in a job that drained me, I let that go. In letting go what can happen is a void forms. It can be easy to fill this void with something, just so it doesn’t feel empty.
That would be a big mistake. Realize that in letting go, if its by choice or circumstance, if you embrace that space of the unknown, you will allow something beautiful to manifest. I didn’t know that before and would revisit the same situation, thinking it would be different, but usually it never was. There was just a different version of the same mess I released.
When something leaves your life, let it. When the past comes knocking now I acknowledge it, but don’t engage with it. Opening the door to the past allows that old energy back in and it can stir things up. I am at a place in my life where I feel confident in being able to revisit the past from a place of growth and authority, but I choose not too.
I’ve done that before so many times, now I just choose to leave those doors close, embrace the memories and use those lessons to help me continue to move forward in life.
If you feel worried that you might miss out on a meaningful connection, I can assure you that people who are meant to be in your life will be. I’ve also learned that genuine connections don’t die. When people are truly meant to be in your life, it’s very clear. You don’t have to fight or force it, it just is.
So when I get those out of the blue connections from the past, I smile think of the good times, then come back to the present and think about my peace and hit that delete button.
How do you handle things when the past comes knocking?