I've declared it to be THE year for putting myself first and you should too. Loving yourself is necessary for your overall well-being. If you're ready to make this your year, here are 3 ways you can become the star and illuminate your life.
New Year, New You!
To put yourself first is an act of self-love, but seriously there are so many people who don't realize how important it is.
To think that you aren’t worth loving is a painful truth for many people. A few reasons are because:
- We put others first
- Society holds an unrealistic standard of beauty
- Obsession with instant gratification
When we grow up, we are taught to care for others first. I still see my mother doing this now. I tell her the same thing, “stop worrying about other people, you need to take care of you first”. We put others first, their needs, wants, and issues before we even take care of our own.
There is nothing wrong with helping someone else, I am all for it and love doing it. However it's problem when you are hurting yourself in the process.
It could be something simple. A friend calls and you decide to chat with her and you miss your workout or can’t finish your to do list. It throws you off your game, sends a signal that your needs aren’t important, and it sets you back. I had the worst problem with this before. I had to be up early for work, while my friend didn’t. She would call and try to keep me on the phone until she was finished talking. Irregardless of me proceeding to end the call.
I noticed the pattern repeated and started paying attention to the dynamic of our relationship. I wasn’t getting anything out of it. They weren’t being a good friend to me and were only concerned about their needs. Looking deeper, I saw the real issue was me. I wasn’t standing firm in my boundaries or being assertive. I started making the conversations short and stopped accepting phone calls after a certain hour.
Guess what happened, we eventually stopped speaking. It wasn’t because I was being a bad friend and ignore them. It was because she couldn’t respect my boundaries, which meant she didn’t really respect meas a whole. Did it hurt, yeah that was my friend, more like family, but I gained so much more when I let her go. I was happier. It felt like a weight was lifted, because the relationship was toxic.
I thought I had to be there for them, and that meant not being there for myself. I was creating chaos in my own life by wasting precious time on the phone, instead of managing my life. Once I took control, they exited stage left all on their own.
Lesson 1: You come first, always!
Affirmation: I am a priority in my own life.
Beauty Comes from Within
We see airbrushed and altered images, perfectly made up faces, hair, nails, and flawless everything on a regular basis, so much that we think something is wrong with us. Women are held to an unrealistic standard of beauty. It focuses on outward appearances, instead of what really counts. No matter what you do to alter your looks with makeup or surgical enhancements, if you don't feel good about yourself inside it won't matter.
I tell my daughter this all the time:
“you have to love everything about yourself, even the things you don’t care for because God made you that way”.
We are all divinely created, Made in His image. The way you are is perfect. Accept that and own it! We are all different and have things we love about ourselves and things we don’t. If you don’t like something, change it, and if you can’t change it accept it. Love comes from within us. When you love all of you, you are in tune with your Creator. Your confidence and self-esteem skyrocket, and you literally Shine!
You are perfect! You are perfect!
Lesson 2: Society’s general standard of beauty excludes most women, don’t conform to it. Accept yourself as you were divinely made!
Affirmation: I am a divine and beautiful creation, worthy of love. I am perfect.
Be Patient and Persevere
Instant gratification is at an all time high. Technology has made it possible for almost everything to be ready in an instant! If you want a better body, that takes time. Drinking a shake or tea won’t give you lasting results. It takes a lifestyle change. Any positive change doesn’t take place overnight.
It takes time to learn new habits and unlearn the bad. Change can come easier for some people, but if you are struggling and not seeing the results that you want, don’t give up. Keep working at it. The smallest step in the right direction can make a huge difference. This goes for relationships, success, growth, fitness; you have to work at it Every. Single. Day.
Lesson 3: It takes time to create lasting change. You have to work at it each day. Having support can help you along in the process.
Affirmation: I am able to create lasting change in my life. I am committed to taking the right steps to change.
Don’t get discouraged, keep working at it. If you need support that’s what I am here for. I have seen so many talented women that are wrapped in hurt, negativity, and hate that they don’t even see that life is passing them by. This is your year and your life. It's time to show up and shine bright.
Some More Tips to Help You Shine
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