I am a Mother. That phrase used to make me cry. I didn’t think I was a Mother and I damn sure didn’t think I was a good one. My first go round as a mom was hell. My child was used as a pawn to “keep me in my place”. It was hard to love her when I wasn’t able to. Motherhood became a painful prison.
Tears of a Mother
It was never my intention to be a single mother, and after having Kaylah and the shit I went through. I didn’t want another child. In fact, once Kaylah started high school – – yes I have a High Schooler — I started counting down to my Freedom.
I purchased this cute little Fiat so Kaylah and I could whip around town, it was just us and I was okay with that. I was going out, my social life was popping, then along came Savvi.
Let me say this, I love my girls. I will do anything under the sun for them, however, this journey called Motherhood has not been an easy one for me. I wish I could say the second time around was all peaches and cream but it wasn’t.
I went through THE MOST when I was pregnant with Savvi, and dealing with her “Father” who is no longer with us, but in the end, things worked out for my best and highest good.
Having gone through all of the things as a Woman, Mother, and now as The Spiritual Love Coach my view on parenting has shifted. I knew that I would parent differently with Savvi because of my spiritual beliefs. I’ve learned how important emotional, mental, and spiritual wellness is, along with creativity and life skills that aren’t necessarily taught in schools.
Fostering Spiritual Love as a Parent
I allow her to be an individual and to experience the world through her lens. It is go-round for her to get a holistic education, so I am beginning to compile resources and create a curriculum to homeschool Savvi.
My role as a parent is similar if not the same as my role as The Spiritual Love Coach. I cannot make my child ‘BE’ any specific type of way. The worst thing I could do is stomp out her light. I want to nurture it. Savvi is loud, she is not afraid to speak or follow her heart. I love that about her.
Parents and Adults – We are the Teachers
Yes, it can be unnerving, but it will serve her well when she is older and better able to control herself and her emotions. It pains me when I hear grown adults telling her she is bad, or loud.
I don’t want to put those limiting thoughts in her mind. As adults, I feel we need to learn how to work within her loudness and teach her how to control that instead of shutting it down. That’s what I try to do.
As adults, I feel we need to learn how to work within her loudness and teach her how to control that instead of shutting it down. That’s what I try to do.
My job is to protect her, to love her, to nurture her and give her the skills, tools, and resources to thrive in this world. That also means teaching her self love, acceptance, and worth.
Learning Through Parenting
One of the most important things I have learned is that parenting is teaching me how to ‘BE’. I learn so much from my children that helps me to be a better person, mother, and coach. I see parenting as a blessing, a gift, and an honor.
Some people get to be cowards and back out of their parenting duties, not me I rise to the challenge and try to do my best each day. I want to instill the qualities in my children that others lack, so when faced with fear they stand tall, in their power and truth, knowing they are supported, instead of tucking their tails and running.
Working with adults, I see the trauma and fears from childhood and the challenges of life keeping them closed off to love and life. As a parent I have the power to stop generational cycles and create a new paradigm for love and life.