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Friends or Enemies?

By //  by Jovhanna K. Tisdale 7 Comments

This isn't true in all situations, but sometimes your friends aren't shit. I've dealt with having the wrong people around me a lot, especially when I wasn't protecting my energy or standing in my truth. When I started being more aware,  I started noticing patterns in people that I considered my friends, very close friends long before I severed the ties that bonded us together.

I would notice them talking pure trash about their ‘other friends' I learned very early in life when someone is talking bad about another say nothing, remain neutral, be positive in the situation.  That made me wonder, well damn, what are you saying about me to them?

Then the comments on my life, as though they can live my life for me and I should react to situations as they would.  Better known as judgment, not support.

The putting down of my goals like the Vlog/Webcast I wanted to start about 5 years ago.  I never did it thinking I needed a team, and thankfully pursued my dreams without them.  I learned that I am the team and I am working on transforming this blog into the dream I've always envisioned.

Then leaving me down and out in my time of need, of serious need.  Some things are just unforgivable and the thing about forgiveness is I don't have to do it for them, it's for me. As long as I make peace within myself, I am fine. I don't carry ill feelings towards anyone in my past. They all played a role in making me who I am today, whether their impact was positive or negative.

These are just a few examples of shit real friends do not do.  I think we got to a point where disrespect has become so common, distrust, and deceit run rampant.  Rather than be surrounded by these type of people I cut them alllll the way off.  Blocked and deleted!

Once I removed these people a lot of the negativity that was eating at me stopped. Things shifted for me real quick once I cleared that toxicity out of my life.

No longer did I have to worry about another's opinion, seek validation or support.  I realized that everything I needed was within me.  Once I started tapping into that power, my entire world changed.  I didn't have a negative bandwagon steering me away from what my heart longed for.

I have a good group of friends, both men and women, that are positive, business and family minded, educated, with amazing personalities.  That is the group that I want to grow. The ones that can pull the best out of me and share things with me that will propel me further in life and those that I can uplift and support also.

I still struggle to build friendships, but as my friend told me the other day, I have come out of my shell a lot in the last year and keep doing whatever it is I am doing.

It definitely pays to examine those we surround ourselves with.  Are they giving you energy or draining you?  Are your ‘friends' self-centered, not considering you in the relationship.  How do you feel after talking to your friends or spending time with them?  If the vibe isn't good it may be time for a change.

Sometimes our friends are actually our enemies in disguise. Wolves in sheep's clothing. Pay attention to how you feel around them and the types of conversations and activities you engage in. If it doesn't feel good to you, then it may be time for a change.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Change, Enemies, Friends, Friendships, Toxic People, Toxic Relationships

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. amommasview

    February 27, 2015 at 1:00 am

    Definitely something to think about… Still I am not sure if I would agree on it. But then… Maybe I would. Obviously I have not make up my mind just yet…

    Reply
    • @msjkristina

      February 27, 2015 at 1:23 am

      It’s a bit complicated. I’m hoping not to find anymore truth in it.

      Reply
      • amommasview

        February 27, 2015 at 1:34 am

        I see…

        Reply
  2. Nailmattic

    February 27, 2015 at 7:35 am

    Wow this is very interesting and something to think about cause i’ve def had some frienenemies in my time…

    Reply
  3. ellarend

    February 27, 2015 at 12:16 pm

    I recently ended a friendship because of this and other factors. I feel sad but better!

    Reply
    • @msjkristina

      February 27, 2015 at 12:40 pm

      I understand. It’s sad losing friends but I had to put myself first and I’m better for it too. I keep meeting really good people and that makes it easier.

      Reply
      • ellarend

        February 27, 2015 at 2:18 pm

        Yes, always you and what makes you feel better first 🙂

        Reply

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About Jovhanna

I'm Jovhanna! I support women in their journey to healing her heart and inner peace to attract the love she desires and deserves! If you are ready to heal your heart, release toxic and unhealthy relationship to magnetize the love and healthy relationships you desire, I'm here to support you! As the Mother of two girls, I am on a mission to change the world, healing one heart at a time by embracing Spiritual Love! Learn More…

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