Dating…what a time!
I have some stories to tell about that period in my life when I dated a bit. I have been out of the dating game for a while and am considering making a focused effort to date intentionally.
Looking back if there was one thing I wanted to know about dating or a rule to apply it would be:
Love me or leave me alone.
Yes it's a Jay-Z quote, but it's so damn real. No more ignoring the signs or settling.
When we date it is clear, if not assumed, we are looking for love. That vulnerability leaves you open to all the fools, jerks, liars, players…the list goes on.
Most importantly it allows you to find him. He is THE one. Unfortunately, there is usually a line of not the one's that come along before he does.
During my dating game period, I was so focused on being loved, that I missed the part where I wasn't getting what I wanted.
I have my definition of what loving me is. What is your definition of loving you? Instead of focusing on that list of must haves that we require, we need to make sure he is being loving. Figure out who he really is.
That does not mean you are supposed to fall in love immediately. Love is so much more than that. It's also friendship, respect, honesty, openness. Does your date carry the energy of love? Or are they bringing in mixed signals, confusion, drama and bullshit?
Dating is the opportunity to meet and interact with our counterparts to see if love develops. Dating is not the open door to love. It allows you to make friendships before even exploring if things can go to a higher level.
In talking to my boy besties, I have learned that for a lot of men, by mean I mean Adult Boys, dating really is just a game to get what they want, regardless of who may get hurt in the process. That is a story for another day. We are heading into a new year, which means Valentine's Day isn't far behind.
I want you to experience the fullness of life, and allow yourself to open up and explore what dating has to offer.
If he isn't being kind and loving, then he needs to leave you alone. Once you get the sense he isn't genuine or lacks what you desire it's time to move on. Protect yourself by releasing what is n't for you.
It's not worth it at the end of the day. Set your heart and mind on what it is you need and want from a partner. If he falls short of that and you see signs that he isn't for you, let it go. This will allow you to move forward, deepen your self-love and respect, and get you one step closer to THE ONE.